


Nonsense Drabbles from CAPSLOCKY!TUESDAY

by punky_96



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: CAPSLOCKY!TUESDAY, F/F, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24641125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punky_96/pseuds/punky_96
Summary: Old, old, and old.  These drabbles are from the YSOSRS_MIRANDA LJ Community.  They are mine and I would love to find any of the other ones from other folks.  I will have to check my files.They really are just inexplicable.  The reason I posted them now is that on the Skype call we mentioned the old She-Ra Princess of Power and then the new She-Ra and the Princesses of Power.  And, of course, there was a mention of Prince Adam of Eternia....  Which reminded me...  I've written DWP with a reference to the power of GraySkull before...  and since I was going into the old files to look for that other one for XV...  why not.Drabbles:Rolling Stone:  Miranda is editing already published magazines.Yearbooks:  Miranda is editing the school yearbook.Zombie Hunting:  Miranda has a thing for hunting zombies.Fart in Public:  What would you do if you caught LA PRIESTLY farting in public?Sneeze Going Down:  Allergies.The Fury of Sachs:  the twins display their true colors and Andrea calls on the power of GraySkull.For the First Time Since Andy Sachs:  Emily finally well and truly loves her job for the first time...
Relationships: Miranda Priestly/Andrea Sachs
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	Nonsense Drabbles from CAPSLOCKY!TUESDAY

Check out CAPSLOCKY!TUESDAY and Dear Person There from the YSOSRS_MIRANDA Community. The pictures and other comments will help to make these comprehensible in context. (Edited: That sentence was all well and good in 2009. I doubt you'll be able to figure out what was going on there to inspire this nonsense :) )

***

**_ROLLING STONE_ **

“Miranda, honey, you know I love you, right?”

“Hmm. Yes. What is this need you have for repetition? We’ve said it. We’ve done it. You live here. We changed the law and are married. What do I have to do? Buy an Olivia Cruise boat?”

“No. It’s just that  _ Rolling Stone _ called and said they had to cancel my subscription, if I continued to have it sent here… Something about you calling in and having them re-do this month’s issue from start to finish…”

“Well, yes, dear. Didn’t you see what they did to that Ga-Ga’s hair? And really the Venus image was weakened by the cotton candy hair.”

“Miranda. I love you, but I didn’t even get to see the magazine and now they are upset with me and your bloody post-it notes. I have to have all my magazines sent to work and then sneak them in where you can’t find them to read them. I thought  _ Time _ would never publish me again after that last call you put in to their editor! Honestly, honey, you’ve got to stop editing already published magazines.”

Miranda sniffed in displeasure.

“What is that?!”

“When you read magazines that aren’t  _ Runway _ , I am filled with this ludicrous jealous rage, and I channel that by doing what I do best: ripping their shit to shreds.”

“What you do best is right here.” Andy says and pulls Miranda up into a kiss that tells her to STFU and make her scream her name, so that Andy can tell her what she really does best.

Miranda, for once, listened.

****

**_YEARBOOKS_ **

“Honey? Why are the girls crying? All I could get from them was that a teacher was fired? And no yearbooks this year? And it’s senior year?”

Big sigh from Miranda. “Well. They really are so dramatic. They always go to you with their little problems, don’t they?”

“Miranda?” Andrea asked with a tone of suspicion edging her voice.

“What? You think I made them cry? Would I do that? To my own children?” Miranda stuffed a thin book of yearbook size under the  _ Runway _ proof book, but Andy’s hawk eyes caught it.

Andy narrowed her eyes and went for the stealth approach. She stepped closer and looked sad that she would accuse Miranda of making anyone cry ever. Luring her with a kiss and an easy straddle of her legs, Andy was in position. Breaking the kiss she unearthed the yearbook shaped yearbook under the proof book.

Miranda tried to yank it back, but Andy was too quick. She ran into the kitchen to see what kind of damage had been done. Laid out on the table was a fully published yearbook for 2013-2014—complete with an entire post-it note minefield of critical marks. A phone message in Emily’s writing indicated that Dalton called to let her know that the teacher had resigned. New yearbooks could be printed within a month and the seniors would be invited back for a yearbook party.

“Miranda!?! How could you? The girls are devastated and the gibberish now makes sense! It’s one thing to give Wenner a hard time at  _ Rolling Stone _ , it’s another to ruin the end of the girls’ senior year!”

Miranda made a strange strangled sound and Andrea turned on her to find her wife almost in tears, almost, but not quite. Andy sensed an opportunity and almost took it. Instead she went with nurturing.

“You wanted them to stay seniors, didn’t you?” Andy took Miranda into her arms. “They are going to miss you as much as you miss them and unlike other parents—you have the ability to descend on them at any time and disrupt their personal lives. You are going to enjoy both the independence and the new ways in which you can torture them. So stop this foolishness right now.” She stared Miranda down until she nodded.

“Girls.” She called out. “I’ll take care of it. And you take care of your mother!”

Andy called Dalton and arranged things, then she got the info of the teacher and found an appropriate place away from Dalton and the Priestly family for next year.

**_Zombie Hunting_ **

Miranda’s secret passion was zombie hunting. She had fallen in love with the idea of taking on the undead who tore at your heartstrings as a young girl when her older cousin Rafael had first told her about them. She was torn over the idea that someone you loved very much could become a zombie and while they were physically moving around and looking very much like your loved one—they were essentially dead to you. It had fascinated her to no end that Rafael had been broken-hearted when during his semester abroad the village had been overrun with zombies and his girlfriend had succumbed to their infestation. He had been forced to kill her along with many other former villagers with a small group of survivors. He knew it had to be done, but it had hardened his heart against ever feeling love again.

The only thing Miranda wanted to eradicate more from the face of the earth was Betty White. She questioned the woman’s integrity on a daily basis as she caught glimpses of Golden Girls re-runs and could not believe the clothing that she let the tv producers stuff her into.

When the news hit of a doe-eyed girl in danger because of a zombie horde and fearing for her life from Betty White—Miranda knew it was time for action.

**_Fart In Public_ **

A fashion show was a busy place. Models, assistants, designers, and press ran everywhere constantly at the highest level of panic imaginable. The aristocracy of fashion of course would do no such thing as deign to run or to even look flustered. Miranda enjoyed the bustle, frayed nerves everywhere, and borderland of hysteria that surrounded these shows. It was more delightful than sending assistants on impossible errands like getting unpublished Harry Potter manuscripts for her girls. This craziness was not because of her, well not totally because of her, and so she was not the bad guy on these occasions. She was the Queen who needed to be impressed. This pleased Miranda greatly. What pleased Miranda even more than that was the fact that she could fart in public and while those around her may pause, they would never, ever, for all the blood in their veins ever think or if they did, they would never say or do anything to confirm what they never should have thought… Miranda would hide her smile on those occasions by threatening the show’s producer’s assistant with some kind of malicious threat about the air conditioning or heating. As everyone resumed their panic and bustle, Miranda would calmly move three seats down and observe with an amused sparkle in her eye.

**_Sneeze Going Down_ **

Spring pollen was a force to be reckoned with. However, Andy had not seen her girlfriend in two weeks what with fashion week and her own traveling assignment. Benedryl became her solution. So what if it numbed her a little and Miranda had to work a little harder to make her come—they could enjoy that build up, right? Taking the lowest dose possible, Andy made it through the work day and was pleased to have enough time to freshen up before Roy came to get her and they went to get Miranda at the airport. Traffic was a mess and even if it wasn’t Roy had somehow figured out on which drives he should take the ‘long way’ home and this trip to the airport was one of those trips. The privacy screen was up, music was playing and Andy and Miranda were making the most of the back seat. Andy had come while straddling Miranda’s lap with the feel of her fingers that she had missed something awful while they were apart. To return the favor Andy had scrunched herself down into the far side of the seat and onto the floor so that she could push Miranda’s skirt up and taste for herself the nectar of love she had been missing. How many licks does it take to? Well, Andy was certainly not going to get the opportunity to find out anytime soon because almost as soon as she started--the Benedryl ran out. In the most humiliating moment of her life, Andrea Sachs sneezed like Yosemite Sam’s cousin onto Miranda’s naughty bits. Her look of horror almost matched Miranda’s look of shock, but the spell was well and truly broken when Roy swerved a little letting them know just how loud that was and what situation he had to have known was going on—or at least an approximation of… Andy shot up and resumed her seat on the far side of the car, her face redder than the sun and pushed against the window as she quietly said, “I’m so sorry, Miranda. Allergies.” It had to be said, but Andy refused to look at Miranda, who no doubt would not want such a redundant explanation, or her feeble babbling apology. In their time together, Andy had learned to whittle things down to the bare minimum of words required and for once that skill had not failed her at a critical moment. Nothing more was said although Miranda made a beeline for the shower once home and Andy took enough Benedryl to knock out an elephant.

**_The Fury Of Sachs_ **

Having been taunted one too many times by the twins and then finally pushed into the pool, Andy returned with a vengeance and a score to settle. She had padded into Miranda’s study dripping all through the house and receiving the first glacial stare down of their newly live-in romance. However, she wanted to be clear with Miranda that she was the mother of Hell Spawn and that the day of reckoning had come. Miranda took one look at the ruined article Andrea had perhaps foolishly been working on near the pool and nodded her head in quiet acquiescence. If Miranda had been working on the book out in one of the chairs to enjoy the sun… Miranda had never seen her lover like this and she hoped never to again. Her twins were the masters of this one-two punch if Miranda had translated Andrea’s rage transmorgrified ramblings. They had, Andrea accused, wet her article with deliberate splashing. When Andrea had risen to scold the twin in the pool, the twin on deck had pushed her in. ‘Apparently,’ Miranda thought, ‘they thought if they were going to hell, they might as well take the express.’ Miranda rested her pursed lips against prayer steepled fingers as she heard her wet lover drip back out across the townhome and she shook her head when she heard Andrea say, “Are you ready to unleash… The Power of Sachs?!” Miranda knew her lover had not said it, but she could hear a ‘motherfuckin’ in that pregnant pause. And she could swear that the ‘Fury of Sachs’ somehow reminded her of that entirely juvenile cartoon her ex husband would try to force her to watch—something about the ‘Power of GraySkull,’ or some such nonsense. Miranda wasn’t sure what she worried about more in this situation: her sanity, the twins’ safety, or the possible felony her lover might commit out in the pool area.

**_For The First Time Since Andy Sachs_ **

Emily had had enough of this shite. Miranda this and Miranda that. No sleep. No peace. No rest for the wicked. Well that was certainly true of Miranda and as the truly wicked one—she passed it on to her minions. Poor unfortunate souls like Andrea and Emily and even Nigel. Well, no, not little Miss Goody Two Shoes, not anymore… Did she walk out in Paris or did she fuck Miranda in Paris? Emily wasn’t quite sure anymore but the world had turned on its motherfuckin’ end from that moment on. And to top it off, Emily found herself alone to wrangle the dragonlady, to meet her every need, be at her beck and call… what piece of ludicrousness was she put through today? Taks the twins to the pool. Cara is ill and Miranda had promised the Bobbseys that they could go swimming after their Lacrosse practice at Dalton. Of course she did! Of course, Miranda. Yes, Miranda. WTF, Miranda. Cause seriously Emily Charlton in a swimsuit and near a pool? For God’s sake didn’t the woman know that pools had water in them? When the twins pushed her in, wet her hair, and she thought she’d drown on the tidal wave of her rage—then and only then did she emerge from the pool and turn years of fury and vengeance on the hell spawn of Madame Priestly. “Are you ready to unleash the motherfuckin’ fury of meeee!?!” She sort of grunted as she struck a truly frightening to behold pose. Later after her bleeding was stopped, her bandages applied, and she was safely bundled in fresh clothes—yes, much later, she was thankful there were no witness and that hell spawn or not, at age 11 they were scared shitless of an adult losing their shit and using the M.F. word. Emily smiled as they watched TV and waited for Miranda. She could still see their shocked faces. If she hadn’t fallen it would have been a total parade of fear. They would never say anything and that made Emily love her job for real for the first time since Andy Sachs had left or moved in or gone wherever the hell she was.

***

I hope you enjoyed the crack-a-lack-a goodness!

  
  



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